Dates - Page 2

EARNEST NOTE THINGY:

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	1999 columns


	No sponsors, no lunar landing “It was the sort of plan that required boldness, bravery, vision, and, above all else, a desire to proudly say to the Russians: “Nya nya nya nya nya.’’ 20jul99

	Don’t let the millennium bug you “There is a company selling Y2K wheat-seed emergency kits so you can plant your own 40 hectare wheat farm overnight, lest society as we know it distintegrates between midnight and 12.01am.” 23Feb99




		Your sentimentality quotient “I offer myself as an expert on the lovelorn.” 09Feb99


	1999: Year in review Teletubbies were frightening enough - especially to US TV evangelist Reverend Jerry Falwell.” 28Dec99

		Making returns less taxing* “While my advice may not be as good as a so-called “professional” accountant’s, or even in the ballpark come to think of, it does have the merit of being 100 per cent free.” 22Jun99


	1998 columns


	Holy Jeff, pigs are flying “Doubt not my divining skills, good reader; I come from a long line of relatives blessed with psychic-like abilities.” 06Jan98

	Festive time is all in the name * “Father Christmas really should be named Parental Unit Winterval Sack Holder and Gift Dispensing Character.” 17Nov98




		1998: Year in review “A whole generation of little boys and girls will have no trouble with the words “impeachment’’, “G-string’’ and “improper relations’’ at their next spelling bee.” 29Dec98


	Vote of support “These are the sorts of questions that stern Canberra journalists don’t get around to addressing due to the fact they are paid to take the election seriously.” 29Sep98

		May the dream live on “How mothers keep a straight face is beyond me.” 05May98


	Hell-bent on Valentine’s Day “Self-pitying can be taken to great heights. 10Feb98

		The layman’s Cup “Just for once I’d like to hear a horse called Maggotty Fleabucket Headed For The Knackery entered in the Cup to truly assess the importance of a proud equine name.” 03Nov98

Monkey business in the betting arena

“I decided to break from formulas and go with the gut. I was primed. I knew in my bones I’d picked a winner. Pity the horse didn’t ...”

04Nov97


	1997 columns




		Stupids and cupids Cooking and cleaning utensils are out - unless she has a Hoover vacuum cleaner poster stuck up. 11Feb97

1997: Year in review*

“For those who missed it, Sojourner was sent to a reddish, Mars-like soundstage at Spielberg’s studios, funded by media moguls bored to death with seeing stories analysing the new-look Tony Blair.

30dec97


		1996

	Witch way the only way to fly “I know black’s a basic color and it goes with just about everything, but matching one’s outfit to go with one’s pussycat is just not the thing.” 29Oct96