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Cat washing - claws for complaint*
“Four clawed paws shot out, clamping on to the top of the tub on either side, in a rigid spider impersonation, her ironing-board-like body barely centimetres above the water.”
22Apr97
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Strangled by the neck-tie theory
“Bizarre containers with more compartments than the Indian Pacific - everything that sealed and went snap or pop, she snatched up with a gleam in her eye.”
04Mar97
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Come on, just one sentence
“One sentence to lift mankind another notch on the evolutionary rung ... imagine the power.”
27Jul99
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It’s enough to make you weep
“I never fully understood the benefits of having the full use of both hands until this moment.”
14Oct97
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It’s a Matt attack
“I’ve been wrestling with the concept of grappling in my quest to find the most efficient way to disable rabid attackers.”
03Jun97
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A Barbie on the pawn?
“Maybe I’ve got the wrong end of the stick figure. In fact, (head hung in shame), I may have misunderstood Cool Shoppin’ Barbie and her credit-card debt-expansion plans completely.”
24Mar98
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How the world really e-volvo-ed
“It took me years to work out that motorist-guidance wasn’t a paid side duty for Volvo drivers.”
15Jul97
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Sick excuse for a sick excuse
“One of the all-important moments while having a cold is making the sick call to work. This is an under-appreciated art form.”
04May99
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