Office Politics

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	Little people with big powers* “What most people forget is that the office underdog sees everything.” 27May99

	Signatures in code “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about the suspenders, panties and late-night Lambada with the floor-waxing machine.” 10Aug99

	Shortcuts to party etiquette “Ladies, your boss’s toupee is not a frisbee.” 01Dec98

	Do as I say, not as I Did “As a cadet, I didn’t let my lack of Russian dampen my enthusiasm for actually ringing the then USSR...” 29Feb00

	Stress: The mother of invention* “No report came complete without a 3.5 page report telling you that underneath the memo was a report.” 18May99

	Heed grapevine for your own good “Everyone was looking at me agog. At me, the pre-evolved office micro-organism.” 19jan99

	Work more on working less “If your workload isn’t mostly illusory, you’re not doing it right.” 27Apr99

Faces on the food-chain

“In full plummage, the Socialitis Butterfly is characterised by her haze of mating scents, bright coat, and hair as high as her stalk-like feet are precarious.”

29Jul97

Death isn’t Funny

“In the interests of hygiene, we felt it necessary to burn his desk and sterilise the junior writer. Or it may have been the other way around.”

13Jan01


	In keeping with the office theme, here’s the ever so serious picture they ran with my work column. Dig that arty background... (Don’t try this at home boys and girls - you may sprain something.)