Herein lies six years of festive columns - themed on dates on the calendar that live on in history or just merely tickle the fancy - be it Mother’s Day, Christmas time, Y2K worries, tax time, space launches, Valentine’s day or rowdy V8 races...

2001 columns

Out of the festivities, into the realities*

“It suddenly seems perfectly normal to wake up, roll over and have a quick breakfast comprising room-temperature rumballs, left-over White Christmas, all washed down by fruit-mince pies.”

26Dec00

BYO tax interpeter ASAP

“Without a GST are frog’s legs, haggis and escargot. These things, as we well know, are strictly life’s essentials.”

20Jun00

On the gravy train

“They even worked out a Gravy Absorption Index.”

19Dec00

Ideas that
are fitted and balanced

“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like having someone else de-mould your shower grouting.”

08Feb00

Let’s do launch

“One year I discovered brown was the new black. Next year, grey was the new brown.”

28Mar00

Make mine a wheat smoothie *

“What sort of emergency supplies would a guy who buys and buries buses for a hobby possibly take with him to beat Y2K?”

04Jan00

One bizarre day

“I began a top-level investigation of the world's zany days.”

04Jul00

Presents of mind

“Will a nose-hair trimmer accidentally suck out his brain?”

29Aug00

Enough to drive one up the tree

“I love it when SA thinks it’s getting famous. It brings out the patriotism in the politicians.”

04Apr00

Bring on the boar-leg celebrations

“That’s a real Mother’s Day surprise: which unexplored food groups can be transformed into edible black?”

09May00