On the gravy train
By Sheryl-Lee Kerr
What do bored scientists do at Christmas time? Let loose by
restitching the elbow pads on the tweed coats into a more festive green?
Think of funky new Latinesque names for their favorite bacteria, like
Chrismatium overdrawncreditcardii?
No, sirree. They think gravy.
Yep, a team, headed by Aussie food scientist Dr Len Fisher at the
Bristol University physics department, has turned its thoughts to the humble brown. No, not how to get the gravy lumps below the 50 per cent mark so Aunt Bertha stops complaining about “collateral dental damage”. Rather, more how much to make so you don't cook up a small, brown inland sea.
They even worked out a Gravy Absorption Index. Well, hold the human
genome mapping - this vital research comes not a moment too soon.
I emailed Dr Fisher asking why he was on the gravy trail. He
replied it had “nothing to do with (his) serious research” but was part of
a “personal crusade to show that science is about understanding how the
world around us works, and does not have to be high-tech to be
interesting”.
He added he was the same man who, a few years ago, did the
world-reported research on the physics of how best to dunk your biscuits.
As you do ...
But back to the gravy. For the record: Yorkshire pudding and roast
potatoes are the best absorbers (hence you need more gravy), and they absorb gravy faster if it's hot.
For the most efficient gravy absorption, the food has to be eaten in the right order, starting with the meat, which does not absorb any gravy, then green vegies, parsnips and, lastly, Yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes - the latter taking five and 10 minutes respectively to absorb gravy.
So there you have it. But I do think they should expand the parameters of their research to life's other eternal Christmas mysteries, like: how much plum pudding and cake can the average 10-year-old stomach absorb given half a chance? And given a full chance?
How much beer do you need to get the clan merry but not reliving their ancestral battles dating back to 1066BC?
But most mysterious of all: how DO you make that gravy without lumps?
© Sheryl-Lee Kerr & The Advertiser, 19 DEC 2000