Let’s do launch
By Sheryl-Lee Kerr
[slk note: Some background for those who
don’t know - the section my column appeared in each Tuesday was called Life until
its relaunch as Lifestyle. My column shared its home with women’s/social issues
and fashion stories.]
I HAVE always liked a good launch - books, seminars, boats, it
matters little. As long as the hors d’oeuvres don’t look like sheep entrails, the guest speaker isn’t more famous for his denture ads and I get out of work for a goodly hour or four.
Two out of three ain’t bad, and so it seems pretty cool to be able
to now don my party hat and blow loud party whistles in readers’ ears while pronouncing “Woohoo, Life is having a relaunch’’.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: How can anyone don a hat, blow a
whistle and pronounce launches at the same time, unless they’re Robyn Archer? Well, all I can say is The Advertiser columnists are multi-talented and I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one of us knows the entire words to the first stanza of Saturday Night Fever.
It’s a pity we can’t actually relaunch our lives instead of merely a
newspaper section. If I could personally redo my lot, there’d be some changes, yes siree:
THERE’S no way in heck I’d go Brownie-biscuit-selling with Marcia
and her pet great dane because, nice as that dog was, it still seemed a little too friendly when paired with my schoolbag.
And, in hindsight, I don’t think it really was playing leapfrog,
despite Marcia’s assurances.
FURTHER, I’d have stern words with my parents for giving me a
double-barrelled name that has strangers forever assuming I am either a drop of plonk (Sherry), French (Le Kerr) or married and clinging to my maiden name (Lee-Kerr).
To all parents thinking of far-out names that make Heavenly Hiraani
Tiger Lily and Snoop Doggy Dogg seem tame I say this: WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS? Dear God, won’t SOMEONE think of the children?’’
(Not that I am scarred or anything.)
I digress. Lifestyle, as it is now known, is relaunched and so that
means we get to sit back and admire the spectacular new logos on each page and learn more fashion and other insights than we ever realised we desperately wanted to know.
For instance, one year I discovered brown was the new black. Next year, grey was the new brown. The question remains: are these designers just messing with our heads or largely color blind?
(For the record, I always thought lime green was the new ugly.)
I admit I am ever intrigued to read captions about fashion which
tell me the most remarkable things, like “Nahtasia wears tiger-satin print
skirt with mauve faux fox trim’’.
I just want to meet one real mauve fox and then I’ll take fashion
seriously. Poor Nahtasia, though - did the woman really want to be a tiger
that Tuesday? Of course not!
Maybe an antelope...
The point is: your eyes are gazing ’pon the very first newly-launched Lifestyle section. This is even better than a boat launch. Mainly because you don’t have to watch a perfectly good bottle of champers being fed to the fish.
© Sheryl-Lee Kerr & The Advertiser, 28 MAR 2000