Blessed be the prophet margin
By Sheryl-Lee Kerr
Already have your Jesus doilies? Your Mary, Mother of God napkins,
for that special dinner party? The “Life is Short, Pray Hard” T-shirt?
Your Shroud of Turin doona cover?
Still not feeling satisfied? Then Brazil has the one-stop religious
thrill spot for you.
I read with fascination a little story in our travel pages on
Saturday which mentioned Brazil’s Miniature World - a theme park that offers religious attractions.
This sounds even better than the last religious breakthrough I heard
of - America’s first drive-through confessional; in Las Vegas, I believe.
You don’t even have to leave your car - just pull on up and, like a
fast-food drive-through, the priest will appear at an alcove behind a
curtain and offer to hear your sins. And, no, he doesn’t ask if you want
fries with that. (Apple pies, on the other hand ...)
But Miniature World could well be even better. It offers “a mix of
secular entertainment - there is a roller-coaster and a thrill ride ...
and religious attractions. One unusual feature is dubbed ‘the world’s only
moving Nativity’.”
It features “84 life-sized, computer-controlled puppets showing
three stages of the birth of Jesus. A cross-shaped mall of 700 shops offers
all kind of religious objects”.
I think I speak for everyone when I say “three stages of the birth
of Jesus?” Would that be - Stage 1: Oww, Stage 2: Owwww, and Stage 3:
Really Big Owie? I would be most interested to know how many different
angles you can depict a birth from, without getting a little more specific
than most people care for.
The cross-shaped merchandise area may sound pretty darned cool but
they already have some stiff competition from far and wide.
Can Miniature World outdo the marvels of Holyland Mall
(www.holylandmall.net/) I wonder?
I am particularly fond of its “time control serum from the Dead Sea” (think “blessed be the anti-wrinkle cream”) and “the Christian stones from the river Jordan”.
I’d love to know how they assessed each stone’s religion. And what if you
get your stone and it turns out to be a Muslim or Buddhist? Do you send it
back or can you convert it?
Another bright idea, at another store, this time in the United
States, offers a Last Supper Night Light (just US$24.95) so you can see
Jesus and his disciples all lit up in a pleasing neon glow.
Available elsewhere are Jesus mousepads; religious “survival
rations”; a Noah’s Ark bird house (with room for two? And does it float?)
and a photo of Jesus (don’t ask). But my absolute favorites are the insoles
made from Jerusalem soil (http://shani.net/holy/).
The Israeli makers promise that, for $9.95 plus postage, you can “walk on Jerusalem soil whenever and wherever you are”. This I find a little odd given I spent most of my childhood trying to get the sand OUT of my shoes. Still, I ask: how can Miniature World compete with that?
© Sheryl-Lee Kerr & The Advertiser, 17 OCT 2000